We may have had physical safety growing up and in our relationships, but did we have psychological and emotional safety? .
I was having a conversation with a client this week where we discussed her upbringing. She shared having been raised in a “safe” home and yet always felt that she couldn’t be herself. She had to hide anxiety and panic attacks to avoid “geeking out” as her father would call her behaviors.
She remembers vividly how her feelings were often minimized and belittled. There was constant judgement, discouragement of different opinions and communication was aggressive/defensive.
Our brain picks up these messages or neurocepts (a term coined by Stephen Porges to describe how our nervous system relies on feelings in our body to assess our level of risk and safety) a threat.
While we may be physically safe, emotionally and psychologically, we are not. We detect danger and our fight/flight is activated even without our awareness. This can happen in our friendships, with our partners, in the workplace, etc. .
It is this type of safety that we often disown and yet the impact is felt throughout our whole mind + body system in various contexts, moments in our life. .
What does “safety” mean to you?
1 day ago
“Healthy” behaviors can often be a way to suppress trauma and pain.
I made a post a few days ago on controlling behaviors and how they are often a response to childhood attachment, adversity, experiences etc, especially during times of stress.
The post focused on attempting to control others and our environment (external) but there was a piece missing because often we also aim to control ourselves (internal)...through our eating behaviors.
The thing with controlled eating behaviors is that they are praised and rewarded by our culture. If we do any of the things that are listed above we would likely get a gold medal for being “healthy” (even when these habits quickly escalate into disordered). If a person is suppressing their trauma by restricting food it’s not acknowledged. If a person suppresses their trauma by eating, well, now everyone gets involved, we’ve got an emotional eater-ring the alarm!
In both scenarios we are disowning, we are not dealing, we are suppressing, but only one will unleash the diet talk and shame. Chalk it up to weight stigma and thin obsessed culture.
The reality is, no matter how “healthy” a behavior is deemed, if we are not in tune with our bodies and it’s needs, it is not truly healthy. If we restrict calories and are undernourished, we are unhealthy. If we suppress our trauma by spending hours at gym, without a care for injuries, exhaustion, or rest, we are not healthy. If we obsess about every single morsel of food that is logged into our apps because it’s the only way we cope, we are not healing.
Diversions in healing, no matter how “healthy” they look are still diversions. Don’t be fooled by how much they are praised. If we aren’t tuning in, checking-in, processing, or working on the mind+body we’re just adding to the trauma. We are once again informing the body: “Your needs don’t matter, I’m going to override.” Which will always show up somewhere else, often as an illness (a lot of research on trauma and health outcomes). .
What are some trauma/pains/emotions you are disowning at the moment?!?
7 months ago
올려다 본 푸른 하늘이 별안간 먹구름과 천둥 번개를 몰고 오는 순간도 있다.
33 minutes ago
Creating a safe and nurturing spaces is a core value for Santizzle. Pictured is our Chief Executive Officer Jacqueline, meeting with key community leaders to exchange ideas and potential collaborations that are geared to creating a lovely calendar of events for community members to enjoy. We will make sure to update you sweet soul! #levelup##youngceo#communication#
The first episode of the Elevate PR Pod is now live! 🎤
We chat to Danielle Lewis, CEO and Co-Founder of influencer marketing platform, Scrunch about all things influencer marketing.✨ Tune in for some great tips and insights into how businesses can execute effective influencer campaigns and why you should consider incorporating influencer marketing into your strategy for 2020.
Episode one is now available on all podcast platforms! #elevatecom#agency#communication#podcast#PRPodcast
Word-of-mouth marketing is valuable because of its effects. Not only does it have the ability to drive credibility up, it can also increase your business’ profitability.
44 minutes ago
Meet the purple dwarf olive, Olivella biplicata. This snail is omnivorous and predatory... they’re also great at burrowing in sand! The second image shows trails they’ve made all over this sandy tide pool. I absolutely love the color of these snails! The other pictures are a hermit crab in one of the shells and a totally vacant shell.
We meet all your questions and legal advice through direct message or other means of communication.
نتلقي كافة الاستشارات القانونية من خلال راسائل دايركت او وسائل التواصل التاليه… https://www.instagram.com/p/B8xb8u4nWys/?igshid=1n5idsuzj7vkr …
Keys to a healthy relationship:
1m1 minute ago
The Guide to Workplace Communication Channels You Didn't Know You Needed http://bit.ly/328XU6F pic.twitter.com/g9Ddq9v8Je
2 months ago
Adults ask kids a lot of questions. Sometimes these questions are testing our kid’s knowledge rather than teaching them what we want them to know. Some recent research suggests that kids need to hear a new word up to 400 times to learn it and start using it. To support new learning, give your kids the information they need and repeat it over and over.
For example, instead of asking:
”What colour is it?” you could say “It is blue, it is a blue ball”
“Tell me the alphabet?” you could say “Let’s sing the alphabet together”
“What is a synonym?” you could say “A synonym is a word that means almost the same as another word eg. Big, large, huge are synonyms describing size”
“ Who is the Australian Prime Minister?” you could say, “lets google that together”
So many quotes about love, it’s hard to pick one. My opinion, when love is 100% pure, there can be no wrong. I’m not saying it’ll be perfect, but two people will never intentionally hurt one another if they purely love one another. There won’t be any pride, selfishness or betrayal. Communication is key.
Late talkers are children between the ages of 18 – 30 mths who have a reduced vocabulary and sentence structure for what is expected for their age. They may also have a reduced understanding of language and use a smaller repertoire of speech sounds compared to peers.
All other skills are developing normally such as play skills, social skills, motor skills and thinking skills.
*18 months uses less than 20 words
*24 months less than 50 words and no two word combinations (Paul 1991; Rescorla, 1989)
Late talkers may be at risk for developing language and/or literacy difficulties as they age. It is recommended if you are concerned that you get a speech pathology assessment.
I’m so fucking irritated at how many people lack the basics of communication like... I CANNOT READ YOUR MIND MF.
21 hours ago
« Maman, je suis perdue ici ». Cette confidence de ma fée glissée entre deux sanglots le jour de notre arrivée m’a mis les larmes aux yeux. En effet, je ne reconnaissais pas ma petite fille, d’habitude si pétillante, si avenante, si solaire. Dans cette rame de métro je me suis accroupie et je l’ai serrée contre moi. Qu’est ce qu’il se passe ? Et ces.ses mots. Que je comprends tellement. Elle n’a pas l’habitude du monde, du bruit. Camille ne connaît pas le métro et le bus. Au quotidien c’est le triporteur et ses jambes. Son repère c’est la forêt. On vit dans une toute petite ville. Elle a débarqué dans une ville à plusieurs millions d’habitants. Avec du monde et beaucoup de bruits. Ce bruit qui la gêne tellement. Lorsque nous avons choisi cette destination, je n’avais pas pensé à ça. J’ai vu les couleurs, l’architecture, la facilité d’accès avec des enfants, le soleil. Mais pas les difficultés que cela pouvait engendrer en tenant compte de son hypersensibilité. hyperesthésie. On a beaucoup parlé, rassuré. Privilégié le bus plutôt que le métro, ou alors, avec un casque. Les lieux ouverts plutôt que clos. Etc. Et au bout de 48h nous avons retrouvé notre fée comme elle est. Heureuse de découvrir, curieuse de tout, pétillante. Perspicace. Questionnant tout à chaque seconde. Sourire et yeux qui brillent. ❤️ #communication
3 months ago
flowers 또는 승화물
1m1 minute ago
Communication is key -says the people who can’t communicate
It was great to chat with @shandramoran of The Transit Lounge.
We discussed the challenges of career change after 40, dealing with imposter syndrome, explosive business growth, communication styles and lots more. https://bit.ly/371J6rl pic.twitter.com/yJhMdBt7Iu
Y’all I am SO excited for this week’s podcast episode! Bill and @pamfarrel shared so much good stuff and put it in a way that was easy to understand. It really boils down to two action steps. .
1️⃣ Fellas, let your gal know they are safe with you and that you have their best interest at heart. .
2️⃣ Ladies, let your man know you think he is successful and be his biggest cheerleader. .
And here’s why this is important... One thing we talk about is that all couples have a line of trust. Couples operate either above or below that line of trust. .
If a couple is below the line of trust, communication is broken, feelings are hurt, and you constantly feel like you’re waking on egg shells. .
When a couple is above the line of trust, they are communicating, laughing, and enjoying life together. .
Pam and Bill share that the key to being above or below the line of trust is making sure that each person’s core needs are being met. .
The core need of women is security. Yes, this means safety, but it also means so much more than that. Women need to know they are emotionally secure, financially secure, and most important, they need to know it is safe for them to be who they are around their partner. .
The core need of men is success. They need to know they are successful and capable. They are the best version of themself when they fee like their significant other believes in them. .
When these needs are being met, couples are more likely to be above the line of trust. They are more confident in who they are, allowing them to be more confident in the relationship. .
Our guests shared a great piece of advice about what to do when you don’t know how to build trust. .
Pam and Bill suggest shooting up a prayer! The Lord created your significant other and knows them better than anyone else. He knows what they need in each moment and will give you the words needed to help you get back above that line of trust. If you are single, engaged, or married, I promise you will get something out of this episode. I hope you will give it a listen! .
1m1 minute ago
The best relationship is when yesterday’s fight didn’t stop today communication
@Sawbones Hi Dr and Mr McElroy! I was wondering, have you thought about doing an episode on facilitated communication? It's kind of like the anti-vax movement where research says it's total crap but people...just...keep...doing...it?????
13 minutes ago
𝗞𝗘𝗘𝗣 𝗖𝝠𝗟𝗠 /
Trying not to get so bent out of shape about everything as the Mercury retrograde spins my shit out of control 😑 y’all I am just having such a hard time rn communicating what I mean and I’m misinterpreting what other people mean and the energies at play. Usually I’m so in tune with it but this week especially has been exceedingly hard. Some things that have helped me in retrogrades past that I’m using now are:
🌞 grounding down, doing things that make me feel safe like cooking and taking my yoga closet to the floor
🌞 being outside and taking longer bike rides 🌞cleansing my energy with meditations and sage
🌞 more pranayama (see a couple posts back for a great breath practice that I use often)
🌞 earthy essential oils (quick tip- if it naturally grows closer to the ground, it tends to be grounding!) I’ve heard this is supposed to be the easiest retrograde for us for 2020 so I’m all 😬 but I’m committed to self care this year so I know I can make it even if it’s a little (or a lot) uncomfortable 🖤
Are you feeling this retrograde yet? How do you deal?
been a hair mussed time over here
and not in a fun way
Tmrw I'll be going to a last ditch effort doc appt if I can get myself there
After all this time away from IG
I think I'll be leaving Instagram for good
If you want to keep in touch off social media please message me
2m2 minutes ago
that NO communication shit a turn off
7 months ago
고독의 농도가 오르기 전에 나는 당신의 행동을 보지 못해 특별한 의도가 없음만을 압니다
1 week ago
Imitation, or the ability to copy others, is an important skill for children to develop. It helps them to learn to do the things they see others doing, and learn new words and ultimately communicate. Many of us as adults also learn from ‘watching then doing’. Imitation is a gradual process that is critical for learning to talk, play, interact with others and make sense of the world around us. But did you know that imitation begins as a baby?
* Newborns imitate facial expressions,
* at 3-4 months babies start to imitate sounds,
* after 6 months babies start to imitate actions like holding a bottle or pushing a ball
* around 9-12 months babies start to imitate using simple toys like putting a block in a box,
* around 12 months toddlers imitate gestures such as waving, pointing, and clapping,
* at this time they also start to imitate words
If your child is late to talk, have a look at their interactions with you and see whether they are imitating your facial expressions, sounds, gestures, and routines in songs and play.
2m2 minutes ago
Perfection in communication is unattainable and unreasonable, but improvement is easy for those are willing.
38s38 seconds ago
The meaning of a communication is the result you get. R. Bandler
MGTOW 101: Female Communication Observations
Ive had thousands of conversations with men and women and not once have i heard a man say “it's not what you say, but how you say it”, this phrase is exclusive to women.
I've also posted thousands of post about weak men and Jezebel bitches. Not once have i seen a man or woman comment on a post about weak men by saying “why are you bashing” or “not all men are like that.” However on the flip side, when I make posts about Jezebels i always get women saying “not all women are like that” and “why do you hate women.”
Only when speaking to women must a man say “not all women are like that” as if women do not understand the concept of generalizations. This is how it works, if 50.0000001% of a population votes for one person, that person becomes the representative for the whole population, whether all people voted that way or not, nobody says he is the representative for all those people like that.
So when 50.000001% of women exhibit traits of common female fuckery we know not all women do it, but generally speaking “ MOST DO” and by most I mean any number greater than 50.0000001%. This is how men think (logically) and why we never say not all men are like that, because our language I'd translated into numbers, stats and data, not our feelings and emotions. Women, you must understand this.
I would say that men being logical creatures are better at receiving information and sifting their feelings and themselves out of it.
Subjective thinking in communication is a flaw exclusive to the woman (solipsism). Her need to safeguard her feelings before accepting information is one of the main reasons many will never grow. Men shouldn't entertain females like that because she's making her feelings the primary concern over knowledge and truth, in fact with these type of women their feelings is their god.
"We don't talk about things like THAT"
"Get over it"
"Stop being so emotional"
"You're making a big deal out of nothing" ...and other family messages like this may convey to a child:
-there's no room for your feelings (so don't have any)
-we don't discuss sensitive issues (so don't try)
-talking about your problems is unacceptable (so don't do it)
-your emotions are too much for me (and so are you)
If we're raised with messages like this, we may start doubting our emotional responses and even shame ourselves for having a response in the first place. This can lead to a wobbly sense of self and insecurity, possibly even a pattern of avoiding intimacy in adulthood (even if subconsciously, as with love addiction/love avoidance).
How do we overcome this? Therapy is of course very helpful, but another step is this journaling/processing exercise: make a list of negative childhood messages, writing out how these messages influenced you in childhood and how they continue to affect you today; then, writing a new narrative about each message. An example might be:
What happened: When I was little and upset/crying, my mother always told me to get over it.
The message: I was a burden/unlovable if I showed emotion.
Feeling/emotion attached to the message: Shame
How this has affected/influenced me: I avoid asking for help and hide my feelings.
New narrative: It's ok/healthy to ask for help.
Goal: I will ask for help/connect with someone at least once this week
(☝🏼That's a simplified example due to the small space but hopefully it provides a little direction to get started).
Recommended reading: "The Dance of Intimacy" by Harriet Lerner.
너무 일찍 눈이 떠졌다. 새소리 벌소리 꽃소리를 듣자고 나와 책장을 폈다. “나답게 사는 것 외에 다른 정답이 있을까?” 라는 작가의 물음에 잠시 생각에 잠긴다. ‘나답게 사는 것’......
18 minutes ago
You’ve probably heard the phrase “don’t sweat the small stuff” 😓
It sounds easy enough but all too often people get hung up on the most insignificant things.
Sure life is complex, with ups and downs, but that’s no excuse to let our emotions get the best of us over shit that doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Our inability to control our emotions in situations that don’t warrant it can actually be quite offensive and disrespectful to those around us. We can come off as flippant, immature, entitled, spoiled or completely obtuse.
The reality is that many of us are extremely fortunate with lots to be thankful for. While that may not apply to everyone, stop and think for a moment and you can probably find someone that has a worse lot in life than yours. Rather than bitching about how you’ve been inconvenienced by someone, or your food order didn’t come out right, or you can’t find a parking spot...blah blah blah, remember what you have to be grateful for and do something to improve someone’s day.
Social media can be a blessing and a curse, so be mindful when your airing your problems to the world. Most people don’t care cuz they have their own shit to deal with😐
Get real with yourself💯
1 minute ago
“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest”
The ELR Leadership and Communications Society alongside the Debate Society and The Tribunal Society introduced to you the first ever TEDx bring with the theme of communication and leadership.
When: Thursday 20th February 2020
Where: ELR Towers Gazebo
See You There!! #TEDx#Communication#Leadership#Jamaica#uwitan
One of the most common stressors in relationships is the experience around how our partner responds to our emotion and vulnerability. It’s a common thing to want to try to “fix” our partners pain or experience when they open up to us and share what’s happening for them. A couple of fix-it phrases might be ones like “Don’t worry, it will be fine,” or “Have you tried to xyz?” When we answer to our partners emotion in this fix-it way, it unintentionally dismisses the way they are feeling and sends the message that the way they are feeling isn’t valid, important or allowed. This makes the attempt to soothe them go opposite and often times actually exacerbate their already tender emotions. •
When your partner shows you emotion, pause and recognize what happens for you. Do you want to fix it and make it go away? Try to simply just be with them in their experience, not having to change it, just letting it be what it is. I know it seems counter, but the result is actually what we are aiming for to begin with—our partner’s pain begins to calm. •
1m1 minute ago
In my own head?? Haha! Just Bad communication that’s all! Again LOVE!
16 minutes ago
Beneficios de las Troncales SIP
✅Recuperación ante desastres
✅Agiliza la telefonía multi-sitio.
#telecom #telecommunications #telecommunication #telecomunicaciones #telecoms #telecomm #telecommuting #comunicacion #comunicaciones #communication #communicate #communications #tecnologia #tecnología #technology #technologies
#digital #digitaletransformation #transformaciondigital
Instead of giving your little one everything they want immediately, stop and provide them with a choice of two or more items. What are the benefits of providing choices?
• build exposure to spoken words
• builds opportunities to respond to you
• gives a reason to respond to you
• helps hear and learn new words
• gives practice at making requests
• helps understand cause and effect
• gives your little one the illusion that they are in control
Breakfast- Do you want:
· Cereal or toast?
· Jam or butter?
· Blue or red cup?
· Milk or water?
Getting dressed – Do you want:
· Dress or shorts?
· Red or pink t-shirt?
· Sneakers or sandals?
· Red or yellow undies?
Snack time – Do you want:
· Yoghurt or crackers?
· Carrot or cucumber?
· Apple or banana?
Bath time – Do you want:
· Boats or cups?
· Bubbles or no bubbles?
· Pink or blue face washer?
· Dolls or Lego?
TV- Do you want?
* Bluey or playschool
* A book or TV?
Books – Do you want?
*. Spot or Goldilocks?
*. Miffy or The Big Red Digger?
Tea Part – Do you want
*. Tea or juice?
*. A biscuit or cake?
*. The red plate or blue plate?
50 minutes ago
Marriage is going through life’s journey with a partner.
Good enough English is arbitrary and unrelated to communication needs of jobs.
2m2 minutes ago
what is a relationship WITHOUT communication?
2m2 minutes ago
[Quick rule. If you do not respond to storyline threads within 3 days or you haven't specified your time constraints w/life then I will delete our convo assuming 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁.
I am huge on communication and if you can't then we are not meant to be connected.]